I am a DC working in the Metropolitan Police Service. My career has taken me from response in Hammersmith and Fulham in London to working with victims of domestic abuse and rape across London. I am currently working at the Inquiry and Review Support Command (IRSC) Witness Coordination & Review Team (WCRT).
In 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 41. My diagnosis and treatment really did challenge everything I had ever known about myself and the world. When I was told the news at Guy's Hospital, it felt like my whole world had fallen apart. It’s a familiar story told many times, but it really did feel like a giant crater had just opened up from underneath me and I was free falling into it.
I received neo-adjuvant treatment at Guy's & St Thomas’. My breast cancer was triple negative (TNBC) and oestrogen positive (ER+), which I was told was “quite unusual”, not a phrase you want to hear from an oncologist. I worked through my treatment with the support of my line managers at the Met and took time off after each chemotherapy session. This was a tough time. I remember when I was losing my hair, a nurse telling me, ‘this is only temporary, it will grow back.’ She was right, it did.
During my treatment, I was referred to a charity for people with a diagnosis of breast cancer. I had a variety of complimentary therapies including acupuncture, massage, Qigong and mindfulness. I completed an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) course, which wasn’t easy, but really helped me reframe how I saw my life following breast cancer. I had to find my ‘new normal’, which is another familiar thing you hear people say following grief. It gave me permission to ‘just be’ with the good and the bad things.
Mindfulness has really helped me come to terms with uncertainty in my own life and I want to share the techniques of mindfulness with everyone through Oscar Kilo. We can still help people who need our help, but also give ourselves some care and compassion in this uncertain time. This pandemic will also prove temporary, so as we cross this difficult terrain, why not give yourself some time and space and try some techniques that have really helped me.
I have delivered some Mindfulness taster sessions to colleagues. We sat in a meeting room at work and I guided two meditations; one short breathing exercise and one longer practice called the body scan.
The feedback I received was pretty positive. One participant said that they “hadn’t realised how stressed they were” and how they wanted to use the techniques I had taught to good use “for myself and my 10 year old son.” Another likened the practice to “stepping out of a sauna and feeling really refreshed.” One participant also said, “This should be part of our working lives and should be encouraged by bosses.”
I see mindfulness as a tool or a new language to use when you are facing uncertainty or feeling a little fragile, vulnerable. Paying attention on purpose in the present moment without judgement teaches you to see how you can respond effectively to challenges that life throws at you and not just react to them.
Since my diagnosis and my return to work and my new normal, I decided to get a qualification in Mindfulness. In 2018 I started a post-graduate qualification in teaching Mindfulness at Bangor University. I hope to complete the final year 2022-2023.
Mindfulness is a kind of mental exercise for your brain. Based on meditation, it helps you to focus on the present moment. All you will need for it is a pair of headphones or speaker and a device to connect to the internet. There are plenty of online resources to listen to, but this is something I wanted to share with everyone working in the police, in whatever capacity: police officers, police staff, anyone.
I suspect we can all benefit from a moment just to notice how we are feeling and how we can look after ourselves alongside colleagues and the communities we serve. [Updated 19/04/2022].
Try one of Rachel's mindfulness sessions
Space to breathe
This short two-minute breathing exercise, by Rachel Blackwell, can be done anywhere and at any time. If you are feeling overwhelmed or things are getting a bit much it will help you to calm down and refocus.
Breathing in the body
This 12-minute mindfulness session, created by Rachel Blackwell, is designed to help you ground and anchor yourself, through breathing techniques and relaxation.