Do you ever feel as though you're always on and have difficulty switching off?
Many of us fill our days to the brim with work, sport, family, friends, social media, DIY, shopping, hobbies, it's all good stuff but it can mean that we rarely make time to pause and just be.
The problem with this always-on approach is that our brains learn to rely on our fight or flight stress response powered by the energising hormones adrenaline and cortisol to keep our energy levels high all day.
If your stress response gets stuck in the on position it can make it very difficult to get into a deep restorative sleep, the stress response is balanced by an opposing rest or digest or relaxation response which promotes digestion, repair, sexual arousal and sleep.
To flip the switch from stress to relaxation we have to convince the brain that we are safe and in control. When we're in danger our breathing tends to either get faster as we prepare to fight or flee from a threat or occasionally it might pause completely as we freeze while we make up our minds.
Maintaining a slow steady breathing rate, therefore, helps to signal to the brain that we're not under threat and helps to drive the relaxation response. There are many different breathing techniques you can try and it's worth experimenting with a few different exercises until you find an approach which you find it easy to focus on and which has a calming effect on you.
Relaxation is a skill, the more often you practice the more quickly and deeply you'll be able to relax. It's a good idea to practice for a few minutes during the day as well as part of your wind-down routine before bed for example box breathing involves breathing in for a count of four holding that breath for a count of four breathing all the way out for a count of four and holding for a count of four as you complete the exercise.
It can be helpful to picture a dot traveling around the outline of a square each side is the same length so it should take the same amount of time to breathe in hold breathe out and hold.
So we're going to try a couple of cycles of box breathing together now.
If you're sitting have your feet flat on the floor back straight head balanced on top of your spine when you breathe in focus on keeping your shoulders relaxed and breathing deeply down into your belly. If you're lying down it can be helpful to keep one hand on your belly one hand on your chest.
Focus on making your belly rise and fall rather than your chest. This means you're more likely to be using your diaphragm to pull the air all the way deep into your lungs which provokes the relaxation response.
I recommend closing your eyes to avoid distractions and I'll talk you through it.
Let yourself breathe all the way out now breathe all the way in through your nose and into your belly for a count of one, two, three, four, and now hold that breath for one, two, three, four and now slowly release your breath all the way out through your nose for one, two, three, four, and hold that breath for one, two, three, four.
Now let yourself breathe in deep in through your nose and into the belly for a count of one, two, three, four, and hold on to that breath for one, two, three, four, and slowly release your breath all the way out for one, two, three, four, and hold for one, two, three, four you can carry on at your own pace.
Sometimes I find that if I wake up in the middle of the night holding my breath for a count of four can be quite difficult so I'll just start by counting to two and then when that feels easy I'll work my way up to three and four.
If you wake up feeling panicky or you feel yourself getting worked up during the day a few cycles of box breathing can help to calm you down and help you feel in control.
If you'd like to learn more about evidence-based techniques to help you relax and prepare for a restorative sleep please sign up to the Better Sleep Toolkit below, you'll get access to a selection of different relaxation strategies you can download and listen to at any time of day or night.